Zzzzzzzzzz

I would never make it on a reality show. Not because I absolutely hate being in front of a camera (I do), or having to spend time with a bunch of hammy a-holes instead of my family (picture: hell), but because they would deprive me of my precious sleep to evoke an emotional outburst for the camera. And they would sooo get it from me. One night with little sleep is enough to affect me on many levels. My body aches, my hair hurts, my eyes feel gritty, the bags under my eyes threaten to open up shop; I am edgy and jittery. My thoughts are cloudy. I don’t know how people do it. In my younger days I could roll with it easily for several days in a row. Nowadays I am like a cranky old woman without my beauty rest. No, not LIKE a cranky old woman…I AM a cranky old woman. Reality tv would have a heyday with me. I would be the bitch, the sap, the complainer (I am pretty good so far today), the accuser, and the crier all rolled into one. Yep, they would LOVE me.
But, you know what tomorrow is? Saturday. Sleep-day. Snuggle-day. Comforter-day.
Heaven-day.

10 Things

I finally have some pictures from the birthday blowout. The scary balloon pic is there, along with a cute one of HP and Grammy. And yes, I included a pic of half eaten cake, but I had to show that cute soap bar I made of white chocolate. I am also proud of the banner I made over her highchair. That will be a birthday tradition for HP now - breaking the banner out a day or two before her birthday. I can’t wait until she is old enough for us to do crafty stuff like that together…making holiday decorations, painting pictures and baking cookies. I am such a dork about things like that. I just made a big card wreath that got hung over our mantle last night. I am now onto sewing our stockings.
Now onto the important stuff….
10 Little Known Facts About Hattie Pearl
1. She has small feet
2. Favorite foods: broccoli, steak, sticky rice, plain yogurt. She’s not big on fruit, but loves most all veggies.
3. She is beginning to take steps unassisted or encouraged
4. She loves all things “socks”
5. Her first word was “Dada”. She will also now “woof’ for a doggie.
6. When topless she pats her tummy, which is about the cutest thing ever
7. She (now) likes her jogging stroller and long walks in it
8. Standing at the family room window is one of her favorite pastimes
9. She loves to sleep and usually smiles when you lay her in her crib for the night
10. When tired, Hattie puts her tongue to the front of her mouth and raises her arm so she is almost licking her forearm. It is her special form of thumb-sucking.

Birthday

My little girl is one year old today. It blows my mind. In some ways, it seems like yesterday she arrived, all beautiful and tiny. In other ways, its as if I've always known her and we've never been apart. She takes up such a huge space in my life and an even bigger space in my heart. Hattie, you are my light and I love you more than you will ever know. Happy Birthday, Dear One.
Mama

Lions, Tigers and Balloons, Oh My!

Yesterday was Hattie’s big first birthday bash. We had a rubber ducky theme and I went all out with decorations. I bought about 20 little ducks on-line and had them floating in glass bowls filled with blue water. I bought a dozen blue and white balloons (we’ll get to those later). I made ducky cupcakes for the kids, blue ‘pond water’ punch (with more ducks) and a big cake with blue frosting, bubbles and a bar of 'soap' on top. It all came out pretty cute. I forgot, of course, to take pictures of it all until after the party. Tomorrow I can post a pic of the half-eaten cake. I really wish I was better at taking pictures. I seem to miss all the good shots and get closed-eyes and blurry aftermath most of the time. But I digress… The party was a great time – HP was a wonderful hostess, gladly being passed from family member to family member and putting on a show of her greatest hits – hand clapping, nose scrunching, jabbering, and demonstrating ‘so big’ for the audience. I think they will be back for the show next year.
So, back to the balloons….
The party started at 1:00. I had gone and picked up the balloons while HP was down for her morning nap. They were in groups around the house when she came downstairs to eat lunch. Well, she flipped out in her high-chair and I could not figure out what was wrong. It was the balloons. When they moved they freaked her out. She would grip the hell out of me whenever we passed by them. All day she kept her eyes on them if there were any in the same room as her. I had my Dad take pictures when Bri, Hattie and I opened her gifts. In the first half of the pics she is smiling and checking out her new things. Then comes a gift bag with a balloon on top. Aaaaa! Damn menacing balloon. Floating, lurking, waiting to get her... So, the rest of the pics she is wide-eyed, staring at that floating evilness making sure it doesn’t attack her. The pics reveal it all – the rest of the party goers are completely oblivious to this lurking danger, but HP knows better. She saved us all.
Needless to say, every kid at the party got to take a balloon home with them. The leftovers my nephew set free into the sky. Hattie watched. It was a very cathartic experience for her, watching the evil in her life drift off into the big blue sky…

Smack-talkin

There are two people in my life that I idolize for their ability to be nice no matter what. My brother and my friend Wick. They are extraordinary at being kind to everyone and never gossiping. Never. When I say anything negative to my brother, he just smiles and listens but never adds comments or fuel to the fire. And he does it with such ease, in no way getting sucked into the negativity. I went to high school with Wick and she, for all four years, never said one unkind thing about anyone we knew. And we knew some real a-holes. She was loved by everyone and made me want to get on that bandwagon and join her, but I never quite made it. My life has been a series of jumping on, falling back off and running to get back on. Most days I am still running for it, only to let my big mouth get in the way and eat dust behind the wagon again. There are people that I want to scream at, or to anyone who will listen about how much I dislike them. Right now I am listening to a lady at work that makes me wants to pull my hair out and commit hari-kari. Why do I need to let anyone know I don’t like her? What do they care? What good will it do me to say it? My attitude needs to improve. I want to take the high road on the wagon, I really do, but the world is full of a*holes and I feel the need to be in the front of the pack pointing out which ones are. Starting today, I am making a commitment to kindness, positivity and compassion. It is going to be a struggle, it always has been, but I am now going to make a concerted effort to be better. Now, if you hear me talking smack you have my permission to call me an a*hole.
I told you the world was full of ‘em.